Aki: "Every night, the same dream, the same strange planet, but why? What are they trying to tell me? It’s been... a heck of a lot of years since they arrived on this planet. And not a day passes that the survivors, forced to live in various cities do not live in fear. I have vowed to end that fear."

Jane: "Who are you talking to?"

Aki: "...it was supposed to be dramatic..."

Jane: "Well it’s a little overdramatic, you don’t need to act like you are everyone’s savior. You’re just looking for more intelligent life forms on another planet. BIG FLIPPING DEAL."

Aki: "But... I want to save the world..."

Jane: "Forget your delusions of grandeur, we’re just going on a simple mission, so CAN it sister."

Aki: "...save...world?"

::Jane walks out of the room::

Aki: ".................I believe my dreams hold the key. The question is, WILL I BE IN TIME TO SAVE THE EARTH?"

::duh duh DUUUUH!::

Jane: "She’s doing it again captain.

Grey: "Just ignore her."

Aki: "Hee hee!"

Neil: "Approaching unidentifiable planet, should we land?"

Aki: "Yes, land! I must complete my master pla- uh, I mean my quest... for knowledge! Yes... knowledge indeed..." ::taps fingers together devilishly::

Grey: "....." ::turns to Neil:: "Just land this ship, the faster we land the faster we get off the less money Squaresoft loses for generating my face."

Ryan: "Why are we doing this anyway?"

Jane: "To make Miss Prissypants happy."

Aki: "gasp!" ::pulls out tape recorder:: "Note to self... Jane knows my real identity. She must be... DESTROYED!" ::puts tape recorder away and looks at Jane with a big grin::

Jane: "..................."

Grey: "It felt like we just landed, let’s go check it out."

::Aki walks to the door and opens it::

Chocobo: ::runs by:: "WARK WARK!!!"

Aki: "SHIT!" ::jumps back:: ".......what WAS that? A... phantom?" ::pulls out life form radar and begins to walk around:: "Hmm... There must be something here..." ::radar shows no signs:: "sigh... I see no signs of intelligent life forms anywhere around here."

Selphie: "BOOYAKA!"

Aki: "That’s funny... I’m sure I see an intelligent life form in front of me, but she doesn’t show up on the radar..."

Selphie: "Do you like CHEEEEESE? I like CHEEEEESE! And Moombas!"

Aki: "I guess that explains why..."

Selphie: "Who are you? Why do you have those tiny holes on your face? How come your hair moves and mine is so stiff? WHY?"

Aki: ::pulls out tape recorder:: "I approach the beast with extreme caution as not to excite it..."

Selphie: "???"

Aki: "This... thing seems to have only 32 bits of color... a strange specimen indeed."

Selphie: "I’m strange!"

Aki: "I’m going to attempt to touch this odd... pixelated life form..." ::reaches hand out::

Selphie: ::notices radar watch on Aki:: "Ooooooooh..." ::grabs her arm:: "Heehee! Tetris! I love that game!"

Aki: "Tetris? How did you-"

Selphie: "EEheheheee! I’m winning!"

Aki: "I’ll KILL you if you beat my high score!"

Selphie: "Tetris is BORING anyway!" ::throws her hand back::

Rinoa: "Seeeelphie! Oh Seeeelphie! Where could she be?"

Squall: "See, I told you you shouldn’t have let her off her leash."

Rinoa: "But she said she’d be good this time..."

Squall: "When was the last time Selphie said she’d be good and ended up endangering all of our lives?"

Rinoa: "Oh... this is bad! What if she ran away?"

::In the distance::

Aki: "Let go of my hair you strange beast!"

Selphie: "Oooooh... so many strands!"

Rinoa: "Selphie!" ::runs to her and pulls her from Aki:: "No! Bad girl!"

Squall: "Good, you found her."

Aki: ::pulls out tape recorder:: "My eyes are being damaged from the lack of bits and anti-alias on these life forms... it’s a horrible site indeed."

Squall: "Who’s that?"

Rinoa: "I dunno..."

Selphie: "It’s my new friend, Strandy Hole Face!"

Squall: "Hello Strandy Hole Face."

Aki: "That’s not my REAL name."

Squall: "Oh."

Aki: "My name is Aki. But you all may call me Dr. Aki Ross."

Selphie: "Doctor... A-Ak...ee? Akee Ro... That’s silly Strandy Hole Face!"

Grey: "Is everything ok?"

Rinoa: :: *_* :: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Squall: "Woah... you guys are weird looking."

Rinoa: "Speak for yourself!" ::to Grey:: "So what’s your name? Wanna get married?"

Squall: "W-what?"

Grey: "......."

Aki: "Excuse me?"

Squall: "I-I risked my life for you..."

Rinoa: "Shove it, Scar face!"

Squall: "...heart...wrenching... pain..."

Selphie: "I’m here for you, Squall!"

Squall: "............................................................................AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" ::buries face in hands and sobs::

Rinoa: "So..." ::approaches Grey:: "You’re looking awfully... real today..."

Grey: "You act as if you’ve known me before..."

Rinoa: "So let’s do it, let’s get hitched, Grey!"

Grey: "H-how do you know my name!?"

Rinoa: ".............."

Aki: You’re not... buying this, are you Grey?"

Rinoa: ::looks at Aki:: "Ugh... don’t tell me you two are..."

Aki: "As a matter of fact we are... exactly what species are you of?"

Rinoa: "Is that supposed to be an insult?"

Squall: "Please Rinoa, not again..."

Aki: "No, this is an insult, you deformed, texture mapped polygon!"

Selphie: "What’s a polygon?"

Squall: "It’s what lacks in your head."

Selphie: "Ah."

Rinoa: "T-texture mapped? You know the playstation only has so much processing power, you cutting edge multi million dollar freak!"

Aki: "Your behavior intrigues me... are you the eighth spirit?"

Rinoa: ::sniffle:: "W-what?"

Aki: "The readings are off the chart! It must be!"

Rinoa: "Squall, what’s going on?"

Aki: "GIVE ME YOUR SOUL!"

Rinoa: "Ack!"

Aki: ::Plunges toward Rinoa::

On the ship...

Selphie: "So you don’t have any cute animals?"

Jane: "No."

Selphie: "Really?"

Jane: "NO! Now would you shut up? I can’t concentrate!"

Selphie: "No Moogles?"

Jane: "No Moogles."

Selphie: "No Chocobos?"

Jane: "No Chocobos."

Selphie: ".......no........ moombas?"

Jane: "Listen girl, you gotta leave, we seem to be on the wrong planet, so we gotta get out of here as fast as we can."

Selphie: ".........moombas?"

Jane: "sigh...."

Selphie: ::looks at Jane’s hand:: "Ooooooooh... what’s that on your wrist?"

Jane: "It’s called a watch. It’s used to tell time."

Selphie: "Oooooooh.... Time compression?"

Jane: "What is wrong with you? Was AI not invented when you were created?"

Selphie: "Heeheehee, A and I are letters of the alphamabet!"

Jane: "Neil get this primitive polygonal mass off of my back."

Neil: "Will do!" ::starts engine and tilts the ship sideway, Selphie falls out the open door::

Selphie: "Woah!"

Jane: "Thanks Neil, your a lifesaver."

Neil: "Anything for milady..."

Jane: "Not a chance in hell."

Rinoa: "I’m telling ya, lady! I have no ‘eighth spirit!’"

Aki: "You’re one of them... you’re a phantom!"

Grey: "Hmm... maybe you should calm down Aki..."

Aki: "That’s not what you said last night!"

Rinoa: "GASP!"

Grey: "What’s THAT supposed to mean!?"

Rinoa: ::walks over to Grey:: "You... you were unfaithful?"

Grey: "What!?"

Rinoa: "You lied... behind my back?"

Grey: "Listen, lady, I don’t even know you’re name, so why don’t you just back off!"

Rinoa: "But... we were engaged to be married!"

Squall: "WWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!"

Quistis: ::appears from nowhere:: "What’s wrong Squall?"

Squall: "sniff... I... I risked my life for Rinoa! I-I went to outer space... I fought Adel... sniff... I destroyed Ultimecia...all for Rinoa! We were meant for each other! Now... NOW SHE HATES ME!"

Quistis: "Hmm... now’s my chance!" "Well, that’s the way life goes! Wanna go out on a date?"

Rinoa: "YOU LIAR! WE HAD A FUTURE! WE WERE GONNA HAVE CHILDREN!"

Aki: "Uh... I still need that spirit..."

Grey: "Aki, we have to get out of here! This world... freaks me out!"

Rinoa: "LISTEN TO ME!"

Jane: "Captain! We’re starting the engine! Get your things ready and board the ship asap!"

Grey: "It’s been... uh... fun, but we really gotta go."

Rinoa: "......FINE! Squall, I love you!"

Squall: "Shut up, bitch!"

Quistis: "Heh heh heh... eeeeexcellent..."

Selphie: "Doo doo doooo... sigh... no new animals... no moogles... oh well..."

Choco: "....wark?"

Selphie: ::turns to face chocobo:: "........eeeEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! CHOCO!" ::chases choco::

Choco: "WAAAAARK!!!!!!!" ::runs for dear dear life::

Selphie: "Heehee, come back here, CHOCO!"

Neil: "Engines running!"

Grey: "We’ll be out of here in no time."

Aki: "But I need her spirit! I MUST PREVAIL!"

Jane: "For god sakes, give it up! I think that plant has been doing something to your brain."

Aki: ::pulls out tape recorder:: "It’s now official... Jane knows too much. She must be DESTROYED!" ::puts tape recorder away and turns to Jane with a wide grin::

Jane: ".......wouldja quit it with that tape recorder? You’re really starting to freak me out."

Neil: "Take off in 10... 9... 8..."

Rinoa: "Grey! Don’t go! I have no future without you!"

Squall: "You know you’re just making our relationship worse..."

Quistis: "Ssshhh... she know’s what she’s doing."

Neil: "...7... 6... 5..."

Selphie: "Come back Choco!"

Choco: "Wark WAAAARK!"

Selphie: "We must sing and play and have tea together! HEEHEE! COME BACK CHOOOOCOOO!"

Choco: "WARK!"

Selphie: "No... Choco, don’t run towards that giant ship!"

Neil: "... 4... 3... 2..."

Selphie: "Choco! Come back Choooooocoooooo!"

Choco: "Wark wark!" ::runs into engine of ship... POOF!... followed by an explosion of yellow feathers::

Selphie: "COOOOOCOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Neil: "...1... what the... countdown stopped?" ::looks at LCD screen:: "It reads... ‘Chocobo stuck in engine?’"

Jane: "I swear. We get more animals caught in there..."

Grey: "sigh... Jane, get my wooden stick."

Aki: "Mwahaha... this gives me extra time to get that spirit..."

Grey: "And Aki, this doesn’t give you extra time to get that spirit."

Aki: "Aww..."

Jane: ::hands stick to Grey:: "Be careful, captain."

Grey: "Thanks... Jane..." ::cue heroic music:: "I’m going in." ::walks off ship::

Aki: ::looks to her left and right, and sneakily tiptoes off the ship:: "Hee hee..."

Jane: "....does she not see us standing here staring at her?"

Ryan: "Just let her go."

Jane: "Woah... where’d you come from?"

Ryan: "..........."

Grey: "Ok... what do we have here...?"

Selphie: "CHOCO!! WAAAAH!"

Grey: "......."

Selphie: "I... knew him so well..."

Grey: "Well, it’s natural to grieve after the loss of a loved one. In fact, when I was little..."

Selphie: "MOOMBA!"

Moomba: "??"

Selphie: "EEEEEEHEEEEHEEE!!!" ::chases Moomba::

Moomba: "EEEEEEEEEK!" ::runs away::

Grey: "........."

Aki: "I know you have that eighth spirit, now hand it over!"

Rinoa: "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

Aki: "Listen, are you a phantom or not?"

Rinoa: "WHAT THE HELL IS A PHANTOM? I AM NO PHANTOM!"

Aki: "How can we be so sure..." ::pulls out powder bomb thingy used in the movie:: "Let’s see your TRUE form! HA!" ::throws bomb to the ground... POOF! powder fills the air::

Rinoa: "Cough! Cough! What are you doing!?"

Aki: "Take that, evil phantom! AHAHAHA!"

Rinoa: "................................................."

Aki: ".................................................."

Rinoa: ".................................................."

Aki: "Was my spirit locator... wrong?"

Rinoa: "I’m too good for this kind of treatment! So long, bitch!"

Aki: "Must... have... spirit..."

Sid: ::runs to Aki:: "Aki! Great news! I located the eighth spirit!"

Aki: "Really?"

Sid: "Yes! It’s in a piece of fried chicken over at a local restaurant! Come with me!" ::runs away::

Aki: "....fried chicken? Spirit-licious!"

Ebert: "And who said puns weren’t funny? NOTE SARCASM! Thumbs down! WAY DOWN!"

Aki: "Shut up, fatty!" ::follows Sid::

Grey: "That’s the last bit of Chocobo... Now, to prevent angry emails and reviews, I will call upon the phoenix to bring this bird back to life."

Phoenix: "EEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" ::sprinkles gold powder over Choco::

Choco: "Wark wark!" ::runs away::

Grey: "Now it’s time to get OUT of here." ::walks onto ship::

Rinoa: "Squall, I’m sorry for everything I did. I guess his millions of colors... posessed me."

Squall: "Well I-"

Quistis: "He doesn’t need you anymore. He prefers someone more stable, less drastic, and with a hot body and blonde hair!"

Squall: "Uh, well-"

Rinoa: "What!? Is this TRUE Squall?"

Squall: "Um, actually-"

Quistis: "Yes! It’s true! He doesn’t need your sympathy! You used and abused him, right Squall?"

Squall: "I-"

Rinoa: "Is that right Squall?"

Squall: "I-................................."

Quistis: "................................."

Rinoa: ".................................."

Squall: ".....................I’m married to Selphie."

Rinoa + Quistis: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Squall: "Uh... yeah, that’s right. Selphie and I are now a married couple."

Rinoa: "I... I feel so betrayed!" ::sobs and runs away::

Quistis: "How could you!? We had a DEAL!" ::runs away::

Squall: "..........anything to stop this madness."

Selphie: "Moomba! Moomba! Moomba!"

Moomba: "EEEEEEEE!"

Selphie: ::stops:: "Where is everyone?"

Squall: "Hm? Oh, you just missed them."

Selphie: "Hmm... Do... do I see another CHOCO!? CHOOOCOO!!" ::runs away::

Squall: ".......what on earth am I gonna do now?"

Neil: "Okay, let’s try this countdown again. 10, 9, 8, 7..."

Selphie: "Choco! Not the engine again!"

Neil: "Uh oh, here comes that chocobo again...6... 5... aw screw it! LIFT OFF!" ::ship takes off::

Jane: "It’s about time... this has to be the freakiest planet ever."

Grey: "I’m just gonna be glad to go to a place with the same color settings as me."

Ryan: "And the same frame rate."

Jane: "And anti aliased!"

Ryan: "You said it."

Grey: "It was hurting my eyes for a while..."

Jane: "Say, why did we come here in the first place?"

All: "...................................... AKI!"

At a nearby diner...

Laguna: "This fried chicken looks too good to be true!"

Ward: "......................"

Laguna: "What’s he trying to say, Kiros?"

Kiros: "I think Ward is trying to say that he has a bad feeling about that fried chicken..."

Laguna: "Ahahaha! Ward, you crack me up sometimes!"

Ward: ".........................."

Kiros: "Laguna, maybe you should listen to him now, you know what happens when you don’t listen to us..."

Laguna: "What exactly are you trying to say? That this chicken has some ‘magical powers’ or something?"

Ward: "................."

Kiros: "Ward’s saying that that piece of chicken is capable of saving an entire planet from extinction."

Laguna: "Ahahaha! That’s rich!" ::opens mouth::

Ward: "!!!!!!!!"

Aki: "Hand that over." ::points gun at Laguna::

Laguna: ::freezes:: ".......ah....."

Aki: "That fried chicken has the eighth spirit. Take a bite and you deny my existence and the existence of an entire race."

Laguna: ".................."

Kiros: "Laguna, this is one of those times where you do as she says."

Laguna: ::scratches back of neck:: "Heheh, here you go..."

Aki: ::snatches fried chicken and seals it in a glass container:: "Thank you. Let’s go Sid." ::walks away::

Sid: "Aki, there may be another spirit over by the deli shop."

Aki: "sigh... ok let’s get over there." ::walks away::

Laguna: "...............this is the last time I go to a diner. What would I do without you, Kiros?"

Kiros: "............."

Ward: "............."

Laguna: "Let’s go to the deli shop! I hear they got great Choco meat! Come on! It’s like an adventure! Hee hee!" ::runs away::

Kiros: "............."

Ward: "............."

Kiros: "God help us all. Come on Ward, let’s go before Laguna wipes out an entire species of humans."

Ward: "......F*ck."

Kiros: "......Y-you can talk?"

Ward: "..........."

Kiros: "Let’s go." ::walk away::